Life is a Terminal Illness
This page was first created in October 2001. Having been diagnosed with what they "classify" as a terminal illness has given me a little different perspective on life now. I've always had faith, and I still do. I have figured out that it's not worth worrying about everything all the time. I still worry. Old habits die hard! :-) I'm working on it, though!
Each day is different and unique, and there will never be another one like it -- ever. I hope I am able to cherish each one that is given to me and that I learn to spend them all wisely. I'm still trying to learn to treasure feelings, all of them, happy, sad, the whole works. It's hard sometimes, but I'm working on it.
May 22, 2007: Guess it's time to review the list and update it once again.
April 18, 2006: Sorry it's been so long since I've updated this, but things have been pretty busy for us. We sold our home and bought another place, and it took us months to even get ready for the move. It's been several months now since we moved, but I think we're finally getting things into place pretty well.
March 1, 2005: You know, Mom & I have been following this show on TV, The Apprentice, with Donald Trump. I would love to meet him. (of course, I know that will never happen). He sort of comes off as being arrogant in some of the shows, but I think he's not. One night on the show, they talked about him paying off some guy's mortgage just because the guy stopped to help him out when his car was broken one day. That tells me he probably has a heart of gold and really is a nice guy. I can imagine he is hard to get to know, and that's probably because everyone wants "something" from him because he is so wealthy. Anyway, I've grown to like the show and him.
October 2001: I've been thinking about lists lately. Everybody has a list in their minds, even if it's only a subconscious list, of what they would like to do "someday". We wanted to retire someday, with all our bills paid, buy an RV, and travel all over the country, just the two of us, visiting our children occasionally and driving them nuts.
I remember telling someone that once, and she about fell off her chair laughing at us. "That's so Suburban!" she remarked. Huh? I told her, "That's okay. I like my life that way." I'm not a snob, and I don't pretend to want to be someone else. I don't care if they laugh. I want to see all the sights with my hubby beside me to share in it.
Anyway, back to the idea of the lists. It actually dawned on my that my "someday" may not be as far off as most people's is. Even if it is, well, maybe everybody should have a list. So, here's my list of hopes, dreams, wishes, goals, prayers. These are NOT listed in order of importance, either:
1. To see my children settled in their lives, to have careers, mates, and families, and for them to be happy.
2. To pay off our debts and be able to live comfortably without having to work our tails off just to make ends meet. ** When we sold the farmhouse, we actually paid off most all of our debts & bought the new place outright, so we don't have a mortgage now. ** This actually came about because of the disability insurance companies refusal to pay when they were supposed to. We had 60 acres with the farm-house, but there were 2 mortgages to pay on also. We decided to sell out rather than to lose what we had there. We sold the farmhouse and the land, paid off the mortgages, and bought this place outright. However, in the process, we lost 20 acres of land and moved from a 2-story 3000-sq-ft farmhouse with basement, attic, screen porch, 2 carports, 2-car garage, barn, chicken coop, and 2-room guest cabin to a 1968 model 12x60 mobile home and a combination garage/shop. We lost a lot of living space, lots of storage space, etc.
3. I used to think that, just once, I'd love to live in a new house of my own. Well, because we sold the old farmhouse, now we're back to wanting to build a house. Eventually, we will get this done. It will be wheelchair accessible, because I have the wheelchair now. I don't have to use it on a regular basis yet, but I'll probably get there eventually. I'm thinking storm shelter and storage space!! and a BIG kitchen and pantry.
4. I would still like to take that cross-country trip, but I think a small travel trailer would do instead of an RV. :) I would love to see parts of the country again, including the Grand Canyon, Pike's Peak, Yellowstone Park, the Black Hills, Mount Rushmore, the Grand Tetons, the Redwood National Forest, The Petrified Forest, The Columbia River, Mount St. Helens, and so much more that I got to see as a kid. I was lucky, as a kid, to have parents that loved to travel and did so often. I got to see more things before I was 18 than most people get to see in a lifetime. I'd also love to see some places that I haven't seen.
5. I would love to go to Florida and see the Magic Kingdom. I've never been to Florida. I saw Disneyland when I was 13, and I got to see Janis Joplin. I would love to see Disney World also. **Well, this one's done now too! We had a great time in Florida, visited Mom, and saw the Animal Kingdom and the Magic Kingdom at Disney World. We had an absolutely GREAT time! 1/2003**
6. I want to hold my grandchildren as much as possible, love them all I can, and watch them grow until my time comes.
7. I want to make sure that all my friends and family know that I love them.
8. I wanted to help my husband find his 2 kids. ** 12/02: We found OUR 2 kids, so now that one's done. The kids and grandkids were here for Christmas, and it has been great. We looked for years, and by the grace of God and good friends, it finally happened. It has been a very happy Holiday!
9. I would love to publish a novel. I've written two, and I'm working on my third, but I think it's the best so far!
10. I would like to see Hawaii, Alaska, Mexico, and Canada.
11. Most importantly, I would like for my husband to know, every day, for the rest of my life, that I love him with all my heart. I want for him to know how important he is to me, that he is my "dream come true" here on earth. He is my best friend, my most treasured companion, and my completeness. He is my soul mate, my balance, and my anchor.
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This page added 10/04/2001
Updated 5/22/07