Jolene Abels
11/30/1959 - 1/29/2002
Jolene was my sister-in-law. She was also one of the bravest and strongest people I ever met in my life. Below is Jolene and her husband Pat. He's a great guy.
They got married in October of 1998, when Pat was still in the Army Reserve.
Jolene had 3 beautiful daughters, including the 2 below, Lacy and Lara. We don't have a photo of Melissa, and she passed away not long after her mother did.
In February of 2001, Jolene was diagnosed with non-small-cell carcinoma of the right lung in both the upper and lower lobes. This was termed as inoperable, and they told her that, with no treatment, she had 6-12 months to live. Pat quit the Reserve after she was diagnosed, so that he could be there to help care for her. He definitely took care of her, and he gave her all the love in the world.
Jolene opted for chemotherapy and radiation therapy, and she had all of it that they would give her. She went through hair loss, nausea, vomiting, fatigue, stress, anxiety, and lots of pain. She drove herself to the chemotherapy and radiation therapy sessions until she could not drive anymore. She even participated in a study for a new cancer therapy, until it was determined that the new drug had made her tumors larger. She maintained through all of that, in her fight to spend just a little more time with her husband, her daughters, and the rest of her family.
Jolene had lost contact with most of her family, including her brother (my husband), her parents, and her sisters. A great friend of hers, Patti, was instrumental in taking the first steps to reunite Jolene with the rest of her family, which was one of her last wishes. Patti sent us a letter, to which we replied with a phone call. Lee went to visit her in Kirksville, and we happily attended Lacy's graduation in May. We visited Jo in Kirksville a few times, camping out at the State Park nearby. She also came here to visit us a few times, and she fell in love with the mountain. We were so very happy to be in touch with Jo again, and I jumped head-first into the search. In the following months, through the internet, we found 2 sisters in Arizona, Cindy and Charlotte.
Then, through Cindy and Charlotte, ended up getting hold of Jo and Lee's father in Florida, who gave us a mailing address for their other sister, Eva:
On the left are Jolene and Eva as little girls, and that's Eva on the right.
Jolene got to speak to each family member at least once, and she really wanted to see her mother. We sent a letter to Eva, who got in touch with Corky (their mother) and Mom gave us a call. We arranged for a plane ticket for Mom, and she flew here to see Jolene (even though she had just had angioplasty and was not supposed to fly!) and Lee.
Mom had a wonderful visit here for a week, although it was sad also. Jolene passed away during the week that Mom was here. Jolene had her family around her, and that's the way she wanted it...
Jolene was a happy person. She collected clowns, and had over 300 of them. She loved roses. She liked hummingbirds and butterflies. She collected old photos and antiques. She loved to camp, and she loved the outdoors:
She found out in October that she had metastasis of her cancer to the adrenal glands after a biopsy of the adrenal glands. She moved here with us in December, along with Pat. They made plans to buy an acreage here, and she made Pat promise that he would follow through with those plans even after she was gone. She wanted to die quietly at home, to be cremated, and buried here on the mountain. She didn't want to leave big bills for Pat or the girls, and she didn't want a lot of fuss. We've abided by her wishes, and we'll be having a memorial service for her here where we've set aside some of our land for a private family cemetery.
Even though Jo is gone now in body, her spirit lives on in us. The love Pat and Jolene shared is still very much alive, and he is building that home that she wanted on the mountain. He also hand-crafted a memorial stone for her, and we'll place it in the cemetery for her memorial service. I think he did a wonderful job:
Jolene touched all our lives. She was stubborn and hard-headed, she had a great sense of humor, and she had lots of love in her heart. She loved kids, she loved her husband, and she loved her family. We all still feel that love, as Jo travels with all of us in our hearts.
We buried Jo's ashes in a family cemetery on 5/26/02 with a memorial service that included family and friends. It was a wonderful day, beautiful and sunny out. Her daughters were all able to be here, and the service went beautifully.
posted 2/16/02
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